Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
