Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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