It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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