i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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