The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
