it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
