Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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