if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
