So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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