Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
