Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I need to calm my uterus...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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