The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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