i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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