For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
