What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
