maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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