if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
