this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
