I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
