YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
