All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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