My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize