he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
