pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
