Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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