they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
