What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
