I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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