Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
How external is "for external use only"?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
