I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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