I puked a lego.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Pants are for mortals
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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