help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
