I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
