: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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