So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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