I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
