My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
