Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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