Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize