You really coming over, don't trick.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
