dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
