About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize