Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
