I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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