yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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