Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
