my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
