I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
