I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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