Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize