The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
