ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
