Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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