nut hugger
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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