i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
