he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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