Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I am available for nakedness
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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