marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
