walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have fence marks all over my body
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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