awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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