My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
