Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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