We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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