Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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