No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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