Yo dont text me then not text me
It's Friday. Sex?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
