the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
