Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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