I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
