Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Everclear isn't food dammit
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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