Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
