you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize