morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
