Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
